Here’s A Little Story

So I was supposed to work from 4 to 6 today, but at noon, my boss calls and says they might need me earlier, so be ready at 3 just in case. So I get ready and I sit around and there is no call, so I’m like “that’s cool, they didn’t need me after all I just got dressed early for nothing” and then it’s like twenty minutes till 4 and they call again like “yeah we’re not gonna need you at 4. we’ll call you when we do need you.” so I’m just sitting here all dressed for work in a dark quiet house staring at my phone and wondering what the hell schedules are even for.

Growing Up.

For one who knows so little,

You sure act like you know a lot.

But I guess that’s human nature;

We flaunt what we haven’t got.

Still, I wish you’d be more honest

And I wish you weren’t so wrong.

Every word’s another headache

And those speeches last so long.

You just want another grown-up.

You just want a new adult.

Just because I act so different,

You think I’m into occult.

Okay so I don’t go to church.

So what if bibles aren’t my thing?

If I had to be like you,

My brain would all be wadded string.

Not to say that you’re that stupid,

I’m not calling you a dolt.

I’m just saying it’s retarded

You want me to act “adult.”

First I had to drive my car,

And I went to college too,

Then I had to get a job

To support, remind me, who?

Since I still live in your house

That means I’m under your rule

But in a year I will be twenty

And still working hard in school.

Now I always make good grades,

I don’t party or go wild.

So why’s it so important

I destroy my inner child?

I do everything you say,

At least I’m not caught up in jail

Really, other teens do drugs,

They have sex, they smoke, and fail.

And I swear I’m not complaining

Just trying to understand

I’ve been a perfect kid so far

Never needed a helping hand

So if you were always proud

And I’m staying out of trouble

Why do I need a stupid job?

That super pops my happy bubble.

You say it’s not that we need money

(I will barely make a cent.)

I just need to “grow up” suddenly

Dude, I wanna say “Get bent!”

So I get it that I’m lazy

I don’t really have a life

But at least I don’t have kids yet

And I’m not some pothead’s wife

I don’t go out on the weekends

I don’t even talk to guys

I play video games all day

You can bet I don’t tell lies

Yeah, I drank at graduation.

And my birthday. And vacation.

But at least I’m not the only underage drinker in the nation.

I read yaoi. (but you don’t know that)

I write stories you wouldn’t approve.

I don’t care about gay marriage,

(You’re too Christian for my groove.)

Dearest parents, read my lips

Or this lame poem at least

I am literally nothing like you

I am totally more beast

No but seriously, just listen

I do not want to grow up

When I finally get my own place,

I’ll have straws with every cup

I’ll watch cartoons all the time,

Play New Leaf the whole damn day

I’ll drink soda and jam to music

And be pants-less all the way

Yeah, I’ll have a dumb old job

Cuz I’ll have to pay the bills

All that internet and Netflix

Amazon and EBay steals

I’m just trying to say this:

Don’t plan on making me like you

I will never be a robot

I won’t do the things you do

I will never be a grown-up

For as long as I shall live

I just wish you’d understand

I have no f*cks left to give!